The Graduates

Sometimes thin places can appear when we have scowls on our faces. But, I am sure that you, sweet and dear Reader, never scowl. I do, and I have a deep furrow by my left eyebrow to prove it. Of course, I don’t call it scowling; I call it “intensity.” Some friends of mine (and perhaps my children) call it “The Evil E.”

I am known for my "looks." Here I am in 1995 giving my friend Brian the "Evil E" look. I promise you that I was not raised by scowlers. I come to this all on my own!

I am known for my “looks.” Here I am in 1995 giving my friend Brian “The Evil E” look. I promise you that I was not raised by scowlers. I come to this all on my own!

I digress.

Sometimes thin places appear when I have a scowl on my face. Eighteen months ago I walked into a support group that A) I never would have thought I would need and B) once I did need it I procrastinated in going for fifteen months. Eighteen months ago I walked into Divorce Recovery.

It was as awful as you would imagine it to be.

I sat in a corner with my back to the wall so I could observe everyone. I imagined their stories weaving in plot twists based on their body language, heads hung in shame, and—for those faces I could see—scowls. We were a mess, the entire collected body of us.

I had really committed to the next nine weeks’ worth of Wednesdays to be with these sorry people?

It was terrible.

Horrible.

No good.

Very bad.

Until, one day it wasn’t.

Oh, we were still crying, angry messes. We were still a hodgepodge of broken dreams. But something happened. We had begun to share our greatest struggles, our blackest rages, our deepest sorrows. We had begun to be authentic. In this authenticity we began to get to know each other.

We finally became real friends after we graduated from Divorce Recovery (thus, our name: The Graduates). Thankfully, Amy provides the comedic relief we need (she has missed her calling in stand-up), Valerie reminds us to be fierce (she is a wolf in sheep’s clothing), and Staci is the constant (how she can remain so constant is an utter conundrum to me—yet I want that ability at the same time). Of all things, The Graduates refer to me as the Wild One (we are bound by a nondisclosure agreement to keep from revealing the reasons behind this name. Just kidding. Sorta.)

Q: What do four of Kansas City's finest single moms say at the Royals game? A: We are a good catch? (I am not known for my jokes.)

Q: What do four of Kansas City’s finest single moms say at the Royals game?
A: We are a good catch!
(I am not known for my jokes.)  June 2014

In the last eighteen months these girls and I have seen The Light slip through our cracks each time we get together. We have seen redemption, victories, and smiles. We have also seen hurt, sky-high attorney bills, and worry. But The Spirit moves through laughter and that we do!

So, dear Reader, if you are hurting or broken or traveling a thorn-filled path, I encourage you to find a group that can support you through this season. You never know, you may just experience The Spirit through tears or laughter or (better yet) tears of laughter.

The simple fact that you see smiles on our faces is a testament to how much work we have done to heal (and continue to heal) from the train wreck of divorce.

The simple fact that you see smiles on our faces is a testament to how much work we have done to heal (and continue to heal) from the train wreck of divorce. August 2014

 Amen.

For more information about a Divorce Care group close to you click here.

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